Definition Of Narcissism

Study: Narcissists Know What You Think of Them and They Don't Give a Flying Fig

In a recently published research paper with the title “You Probably Think this Paper’s About You” , (who says researchers lack a sense of humor?), a couple of surprising findings about narcissists emerge.

But before we go there, a quick rewind is in order to explain why this research was conducted.  For decades, psychologists have debated whether narcissism is a form of self-delusion, a cognitive bias, or a self-serving social strategy.  The DSM-IV, the psychology Bible, defines pathological narcissism two ways:  (1) as a true personality disorder – that is, “an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior” that strongly affects one’s perception and interpersonal relationships, and (2) a “grandiose state of mind in young adults that can be corrected by life experience.”   

The second definition does not rise to the level of “personality disorder” so we’ll put it aside for this discussion. The fist definition is more relevant, and the one we normally invoke when commenting on the narcissists in our lives. 

The question is, are pathological narcissists blind to their affliction?  In the parlance of the DSM-IV, is narcissism a true personality disorder or a character disorder?  If it’s a true personality disorder, then it’s accurate to say that a narcissist is not merely unwilling to change, but unable to – at least without help.  If it’s a character disorder, then unwillingness trumps inability.  In both cases, a narcissist may be aware of how others see them, but we would expect the greatest awareness to come from those unwilling to change.  Hallmark behaviors of character disorder include dismissing what others think and willingly choosing to proceed as desired, consequences be damned.  

And that distinction brings us back to the research at hand, which concluded that highly narcissistic people are absolutely aware that others do not share their inflated self-view.  They are also aware that they make positive first impressions that deteriorate over time, and they have insight into their narcissism (participants in this study described themselves as “arrogant”).  These findings were confirmed whether the narcissists were interacting with new acquaintances or well-acquainted coworkers.

The biggest takeaway is that narcissists appear to have less biased “meta-perception” (how they perceive others perceive them) than they do self-perception.  While this finding doesn’t prove that narcissism is in all cases a character disorder, it does support the argument that narcissists know they have a problem—or at least they know that others think they have a problem—and often choose to do nothing about it.

Narcissism Is Good. « Average Cohabiting Chump

One tool I think all Alphas use is that they almost always talk bigger then they are, but their drive leads them to get as big as they talk so they can then talk even bigger down the road.

Most betas do the inverse, talking smaller then they are, and then they begin to believe and accept that and become that smaller person.

I remember years ago when I was a VHS contender, I would get compliments a lot but I would always “well yeah, its not that great…” them down, until one day a friend of the family complimented my cooking and I started that he and looked me right in the eye and just said “take the damn compliment son!”

It was that exact moment I realized what I had been doing to myself most of my life.

Individuation and attachment in the works of Isabelle de Charrière, Jelka Samsom

Narcissism, psychoanalytic essays

Narcissism and the psychotherapist

Smith College studies in social work

Oxford textbook of psychopathology